Cooking Class When I was in the 4th grade, I took a cooking class with my friend Linda, which was dangerous because whenever we were together we giggled uncontrollably with little provocation. Linda and I both had serious face altering braces and wore our hair in pigtails tied with fluorescent yarn. The first assignment was baking chocolate chip cookies. The ingredients-- butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla, baking soda, salt and chocolate chips-- were lined up on the formica counter of the … [Read more...]
There’s More Than One Way Home
Let's cap off Autism Acceptance Month, shall we? My friend Donna Levin, who taught fiction writing for two decades at the University of California Extension at Berkeley, has a new novel coming out next week that is so good. It is a true page turner with an autism family story line, the kind that will make your heart stop in several places. The book, There’s More Than One Way Home, is a perfect book club book, and it’s been optioned for film. The story in a nutshell Anna Kagen seems … [Read more...]
Sold out: Reflections from a seasoned self-publisher
The brief history of a self-published author Except for the 12 copies sitting in an Amazon warehouse in Indiana, I have completely sold out of A Regular Guy: Growing Up With Autism, the book that I self-published 7 years ago. The book tells my story of raising a child with autism (my son Matthew) from babyhood to young adulthood. The book is forever available digitally. I had no intention of self-publishing my book. It was the traditional route or nothing for me, and on the afternoon that … [Read more...]
12 life lessons learned from raising a child with autism
Okay, there were more than twelve. But of the many lessons that I've learned from raising a child with autism from babyhood to adulthood, the following twelve were the hardest earned, and the most valuable, at least for now: 12 life lessons that I've learned from raising a child with autism There is no such thing as a "weirdo". People that seem weird have challenges that are hard to understand. People who seem different are probably very lonely. There is nothing more valuable in … [Read more...]
Sibling diversity
I was sitting in my 2007 Toyota Highlander, where my recently skunked labradors hang out, in the parking lot of a bowling alley in a run down strip mall, when my cell phone buzzed. "Hi, Mom! You'll never guess where I am." It was my son Andy, who is getting his doctorate--in chemical biology-- at Harvard. He was calling me from Phelps Gate at Yale, having just arrived for his 5 year college reunion. "Andy, that is so awesome. Who have you seen? What is the schedule?" Andy, who is … [Read more...]
What I miss most about my mom
I was 14-years old and watching TV on a sunny Saturday afternoon while popping peanut M&M's with a can of Tab. I heard the vacuum go on—it was headed my way. Here comes mom. She had a habit of turning on the vacuum when my brother, sister or I were sitting around when we could be doing something else. Mom reached the TV room, switched off the vacuum and sighed just as I stuffed the empty yellow wrapper in my pocket. “So,” she said, “is this what you’re planning to do all day, just … [Read more...]
A bump in the road–part one
Author's note and disclaimer: This post discusses medical stuff, but I am using (mostly) lay terms to describe the experience. When my son John, who is 22, came back from a summer job in New Hampshire, I noticed a mole on his face that looked suspicious. It was on his right cheek, the same place where he'd had a mole removed three years before. "You should get that checked," I said. "No, it's fine, I just cut it shaving." he replied. I have a lot of moles (sorry for the visual), fair … [Read more...]
The “R” Word
In recent years, the "R-Word" has been replaced with the world "Intellectual Disability", and a campaign to raise awareness followed. Read more here. "Oh, for goodness sakes," I've heard people say, "isn't it all just a matter of semantics? Don't be so sensitive." This story, from the archives, tells one reason to be *more* sensitive: *** Matthew is a huge Beatles fan and asked me if we could go to the music store to buy a Revolver CD. He was wearing plaid shorts, a different … [Read more...]
This is what progress, with autism, looks like
My husband and I raised our family in Lafayette, California, about 30 miles east of San Francisco, where a popular Art and Wine Festival is held each Fall. For people who don't mind crowds, chaos, loud (but great) music and hot weather, the Art and Wine Festival is a lot of fun--great food, wine, beer and hundreds of booths spilling with art and hand-made crafts. Photo by Tiraporn Olsen, LamorindaWeb.com I don't think I need to explain to you that this well loved two-day event has … [Read more...]
Autism, disabilities, and talking about sex and sexuality
Did I get your attention? If you are the parent of a child/teen/adult with a developmental disability, you probably: a) Cringe at the thought of trying to explain things in a comprehensible way b) Wonder if sex will ever be an issue (Spoiler alert. It will.) c) Worry about your child’s safety d) Wish there was more information and research on all of the above. I interviewed Leonard Magnani, MD, PhD, an expert in the field of educating individuals with disabilities about … [Read more...]